Sometimes it's just too much.
I've been stuck in a storm and I'm on the verge of overflowing. Months of rain building up in a barrel that's barely together at the seams as it is.
My cognitive dissonance with my job is up. I can no longer justify working at a company that continues to fuck over its employees at every opportunity. Two sets of layoffs in 6 years, 66% of my employment without the full set of benefits I signed on for, every single request needing to perform a show for the ones who hold the purse strings in the hopes of getting half of the request, at best.
I can easily find another job, but they cannot easily find another me. As I updated my resume, I became even more aware of how much I give this company and how little I receive in return. If there truly is "an executive strategy to keep [me] and [others]" happy, maybe the strategy should start with "what are they telling us they need to be happy?" versus "how far along can we string them?"
Well, for better or worse, I've been holding the strings, and they'll fall over when I let go.
In a few days I return home to check in on my father. He just got his second dose of the vaccine today, unfortunately I don't think I'll be able to talk to him again until I'm at his house.
He either has early-onset Dementia, or just smokes a bit too much weed. I'll find out soon, I guess.
I'm working on taking my personal life as seriously and feeling for it as strongly as I do my work life. It's so, so easy to know what to feel at work, but so hard to know what to feel at home.